Faced with the fact that our children do not come with instruction manuals, we are left to our own devices to come up with some good recipes for parenthood. Below is a great recipe for authentic fatherhood that I think many families will really enjoy! Feel free to modify as fits your taste buds.
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Serves 1-8 ★★★★
Dry Ingredients: Hopes-n-Dreams, Fears, The Past, Your Partner’s Vision for Family Life, Cultural Expectations, Courage (dry only), Mulligans
Wet Ingredients : Love (fresh squeezed), Acceptance, Humility, Forgiveness , Inner Sight, Selective Blindness
1. Whisk together equal parts Hopes-n-Dreams, Fears, and The Past. Add enough fresh squeezed Love to form a sticky mixture. Knead gently until a smooth dough is formed. Place in a warm (98.6°±) dark place and let rise/ferment for 9 months.
2. Check periodically and fold in generous amounts of Partner’s Vision for Family Life and Cultural Expectations.
Upon Arrival of Child (or Children)
1. Upon removal from warm dark place, immediately sprinkle in as much dry Courage as possible. Since babies do not come with Instruction Manuals, you will need as much dry Courage as the dough will hold to see you through along the way. (*Important Note: Liquid Courage does not work well at all in making authentic fatherhood! If you don’t have any dry, it is best just to leave it out altogether.)
2. Over the years, you will have to pour in Acceptance to prevent the dough from drying out. Unless tempered with Acceptance, the Hopes-n-Dreams can often overpower the flavor. You will know when you’ve added the right amount of Acceptance when you’re able nurture each child’s loftiest aspirations while also making space for their (and your own) inevitable shortcomings and failures.
3. Add in generous amounts of Humility and Forgiveness. You will need both because they compliment each other. Humility helps us ask for forgiveness when we’ve hurt someone, and for when you are overwhelmed by the task at hand. Forgiveness is for when they (or you) disappoint, fall short, and don’t live up. Keep plenty of each on hand, as you will need to continually add both of these ingredients throughout a lifetime.
4. Make a gravy of equal parts Inner Sight and Selective Blindness in a 9×12 roasting pan. Note: Inner Sight always helps you know what is coming up for you at any stage along the way with Authentic Fatherhood. Selective Blindness (along with selective mutism and selective deafness) is always readily available. They are very powerful flavorings that are particularly helpful during the child’s push toward independence and adulthood.
6. Reserve the Mulligans for basting purposes. How to use a parenting Mulligan: (1) Acknowledge your bad shot. (2) Apologize and ask for a re-do. (3) Tee it up and try it again.
This recipe can be handed down from generation to generation.